Imaginations of the Heart
by Blessedgrace
Summary: Gibbs is dealing with many imaginations of the heart after Jen dies. Every turn, smell, or sound is reminding him of her. Kelly, Shannon, & Jenny help him deal with his feeling for his girls. Story is set to the song I Can Still Feel You, by Collin Raye.


Jethro walked down the street; he sighed as he passed the spot where Jenny's house once stood. He stopped to stand in front of it; the historical society had put up a plaque in honor of the family that once lived in the house. He placed Jen's favorite flowers beside of the plaque, which was in the same spot that the front door once stood; he smiled as he remembered the time Jenny looked at him and said, "I have been rather fond of that door since I was child." It seemed like everything reminded him of her. He could always sense her presence; he knew that she never truly left him, and she still resides in his heart where she has always been since Paris. Jethro turned around sharply as he could have sworn he smelt the perfume that he gave her last Christmas, it was shipped directly from Paris. A small tear slipped from his eye as he realized this was only an imagination of the heart.

_It's that feeling that someone  
Is standing behind me  
And I turn around and there's no one there  
And it's the sensation  
That someone just whispered  
Yeah and I still hear your voice but you're not really here  
Your memory is like a ghost  
And my heart is it's host_

He could hardly sleep most nights, and when he did, he dreamed that Jenny was beside of him, curled into the sage green quilt that she had picked out. He woke from his dream and rolled over to feel the spot beside of him it was nothing but cold. He found himself downstairs working on his boat, it was the only thing besides his job that kept him sane lately. Even going for coffee made him think of Jenny. At times, he even caught himself ordering two cups of the Jamaican blend coffee that she loved so well. Each extra coffee was deposited on McGee's desk, the only agent who liked the same taste. He looked at his watch and noticed that it was time for work; he quickly got dressed at made his way to the office. Each member of his team looked up as he walked by; he walked over to McGee's desk and deposited yet another cup of coffee. The agent looked up and just nodded his head. Jethro turned as he sat at his desk; he felt the sensation of green eyes staring at him as he looked up to the catwalk of MTAC. Looking up he found no one there just another imagination of the heart.

_I can still feel you just as close as skin  
Every now and then  
All by myself, in a crowded room, or my empty bed  
There's a place you've touched  
With your love no one gets close to  
I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you_

He looked at the dark wooden box that held all the sentiments of him and the only three girls he loved. He pulled out a picture of Kelly and Shannon that they had sent him while he was overseas; he looked at it and whispered an 'I love you' before placing it on his workbench. He took a sip of bourbon. He looked at the next picture of his second family; it was at his birthday party that Abby had dared to throw him. They were all dressed casually; the whole team was there including Agent Lee, Palmer, and Cynthia. Abby had coaxed him into a birthday hat, as he blew out his candles everyone stood around him. Jenny was the closest one to him. As he blew out the last candle, he looked up at Jen, his only wish. Even in the photograph, you could see how his blue eyes and her green eyes twinkled as they joined. He looked deeply into those green eyes, once again before placing the picture aside; those eyes were just another imagination of the heart.

_You said you'd love me forever  
Then you said it's over  
And left me without the missing link  
I thought I'd forget you  
But I guess I forgot to  
And lately I've been too confused to think  
When I reach for someone new  
It's like I'm touching you_

Jethro was called to the director's office for the third time that day; he had managed to tick someone off from the FBI, yet again. He stopped at Cynthia's desk something that he never did. Cynthia looked up, and nodded she understood the lose and pain he felt, but no one would truly understand the pain that Leroy Jethro Gibbs felt. Everyone woman that he ever really loved was taken away from him. Cynthia motioned for him to go on in, as soon as we walked through the metal door, he sensed Jen's presence sitting behind the desk. He shook his head; it was just another imagination of the heart.

_I can still feel you just as close as skin  
Every now and then  
All by myself, in a crowded room, or my empty bed  
There's a place you've touched  
With your love no one gets close to  
I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you_

His heart was beginning to understand; he was coming to the realization that she along with Kelly and Shannon had never left, and they would always be with him in his heart. He looked at the small flower garden that he had planted in his yard for his favorite girls. He smiled as he looked up and seen not only Shannon, and Kelly, but Jenny standing there as well. They all three smiled at him; he smiled back and said aloud 'I love you'. Jen looked at him and said, "Jethro, Paris never ended, I love you." He looked at the red hair that was down to her back and at how the green eyes glistened as she spoke to him. He looked to Kelly who was in the middle of them holding on to their hands, "I love you Daddy." His tears fell even harder as he looked into the blue eyes that were so much like his own. He directed his next gaze over at his first love; Shannon returned the look with a smile, "I am so proud of you; I love you." Kelly was laughing at something Jen had said; he missed that laugh. Suddenly all three girls began laughing. Soon he found himself joining in, and his heart felt like a burden was lifted, and laughter and happiness and fallen back into place. Kelly looked at him again, "we are always here when you need us, Daddy" at this Jethro watched as his girls turned around and faded into the sunlight. He looked up and smiled at another imagination of the heart.

_In everything that moves In everything I do_

_I can still feel you just as close as skin  
Every now and then  
All by myself, in a crowded room, or my empty bed  
There's a place you've touched  
With your love no one gets close to  
I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you  
Oh I can still feel you_

-NCIS-

A/N The song is _I Can Still Feel You, by Collin Raye. _I came upon this song and thought it perfect for Jethro and Jenny and what they shared.


End file.
